Just when things were getting back to "normal" you are leaving again??

It was funny to look back on everything that had happened to me and my kids, because now it was over. It was nice to feel like things were getting back to normal. Life was good, everyone was happy and then there was a flood. Not here at our home, but north of us and all along the Mississippi River. My husband comes home from work one day and says "I've been put on alert." Great! You've been home 2 or 3 weeks and now you're leaving again...oh boy. This was bad timing. Really bad.

The kids and I, and my husband too, had really just got back in the "whole family together" mode. Of course a couple of days later he got the call and he was gone. Off to fight the flood. It was a good thing to be doing. Helping all those people affected by the flood and trying to save towns from going under water. How could I care, right? But I did. I wanted him HERE.

But, this is the life we signed up for, so I just reverted back to the "mommy and daddy all rolled into one" role. At least this time he wouldn't be gone for 6 months. It was hard because I felt like I had just gotten him back. I felt like a child who doesn't want to share her toys- I didn't want to share him with the rest of the world who needed him.

It wasn't too horrible. We talked every day. The worst part was that he missed our daughter's 4th birthday. He was gone for a few weeks, and it was easy when he came home. No biggie. I got comfortable with him being here and then the biggie came. He told me his unit was going to Iraq. I told him not to volunteer, but in the end he was "voluntold" and he is going on the deployment. They leave in July for a month of training here in the US, then they'll be in Iraq for 6 months.

Holy crap! Seven months total this time! Have you read my first blog? If so, you see what happened in roughly 6 months. If not, go back and read it! I think I was shocked. Then it hit me... we'll be fine. I mean, seriously, if I got through all that crap last time I can get through this. Bring it on! My mom always says "yeah you got a good taste"... good taste? I think I got the whole meal.

I know I can do it. I know I will do it. But as I sit here roughly 3 months away from the deployment I find myself thinking I don't WANT to do it. I don't want him to leave and miss our daughter's first day of Kindergarten and our oldest son's first day of high school. I don't want him to miss the boys' birthdays and all the holidays. I don't want him to go, period. He is going though, and there is nothing we can do about it.

My daughter gets it this time a little more. She hasn't really got a concept of what "Iraq" means, but she knows daddy is leaving and is unsure about it. My middle child (the emotional one) keeps asking if daddy has to go, and when I say yes he wants to know why. My oldest is the only one who seems fine with it. He wants to go to the Air Force Academy and be a fighter pilot, so he always says "Oh well, that's just the military." I think secretly he's happy he gets to be man of the house again!

If you are a military spouse you know that at no time did anyone tell you this would be easy. If you are a military family the same is true. We have to endure things that most people can't imagine. But the great thing is we do endure. We are strong and we get stronger.

In my case, my kids, my friends and my wonderful parents are what get me through when I'm ready to give up. I also have a great family readiness coordinator at our base. She's always there and can usually find the answers to anything that comes up. I hate to ask for help, but since becoming a military wife I've learned that sometimes you just have to. Don't let your pride get in the way. We are all a part of a greater family...the military family. It is full of wonderful people who can relate to what you are going through. Many of them have "been there, done that" or are going through the same things. You aren't alone!

In this day and time we are learning to "get used to" (as much as is possible) the ups and downs of our spouse coming and going more and more often. Hopefully one day soon when our spouse comes home it will be for good. Until then, just remember whatever you are going through, you aren't alone. We'll get through this again, whether we like it or not, because we are a strong part of the military family.

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