If It Is Going To Happen It Will Happen While He Is Gone

Growing up an Air Force brat I often got to see my mom handle things while my dad was gone with what seemed to be ease. I'm the daughter of a true military man. He was Active Duty for 30 years, retired Chief Master Sergeant and then went back to doing basically the same thing as Civil Service. Now I'm seeing things from a new perspective. Now I'm the Air Force wife who tries to handle everything while her husband is gone, but let me tell you-it's not necessarily with "ease". Last year I was initiated to the Air Force Wife Life with what I like to call "trial by fire". I hope when you read my story you'll see that you can handle more than you think and you'll get through it just fine. If I did it, anybody can. Trust me...

My mom always reminds me that she tried to warn me: "If it's going to happen it will happen while he's gone." It's not that I didn't believe her, I just never believed it would be so extreme...

Last year, January 2nd, 2008 to be exact, my husband went to basic training at Lackland AFB, Texas. He joined the Air National Guard, and at the age of 35, was going to BMT with all those young fellas. This was his 2nd attempt at BMT. He had gone before and got injured. He came home and recovered from his injury and went back. I was so proud and couldn't wait for him to show up all those young guys. So we got him off to Texas and my children and I went home to start adjusting to our situation.

Between BMT and Security Forces tech school immediately after he was to be gone roughly 6 months. I was on chemo at the time for a medical condition and it had more or less wiped out my immune system. The first 2 weeks that he was gone I spent fighting bronchitis and pneumonia. It wasn't fun, but I'd pretty much expected it to happen since I had nothing to fight off an infection with and my 3 little germ factories (kids) kept bringing home colds from school. Then, during his 4th week of training, January 24th, 2008, things went from bad to worse real fast.

At first it didn't seem that bad, I felt like I had the flu and then I got this red knot on my upper arm. The knot hurt and it was HOT! I'd put ice packs on it and they'd melt right away. My mom wanted to take me to the doctor but I refused, stating that it was "too cold outside." The next day I woke up feeling even worse if that's possible, and I could barely move my shoulder. Then I noticed red lines streaking up and down my arm, sort of radiating from the knot. I called my mom to tell her I thought I was getting worse and she told me we were going to the ER.

By the time we got there my hand had gone numb and I was so dizzy I thought for sure I'd faint. Of course, as is my luck, the ER was extremely busy with critical patients and car wrecks. We must have waited for 2 hours when I finally said "get me back there or I'm going to collapse right here." After examining me the doctor called in a surgeon and I was rushed into surgery. I had a MRSA staph infection (that's the nasty flesh eating "super bug") and roughly 24 hours to live. It was spreading from my arm towards an artery and to my heart and lungs. I was so loopy from the infection spreading through my body that I didn't comprehend how serious it was until the next day.

I woke up the next morning and learned just how close I'd come to not being here today. They had to cut a 6 inch diameter 2 inch deep hole in my arm, taking lymph nodes, tissue, muscle and cutting through nerves. They also had to tunnel down my arm as well as under my collar bone to get ahead of the infection, to prevent it from spreading to my heart and lungs. I was lucky, but not out of the woods yet. I had to be on strong IV medicines for quite awhile because they couldn't be absolutely sure they'd "gotten it all."

The Red Cross got ahold of my husband and obviously he was devastated. He wanted to come home because I had a long road to recovery ahead of me, but I told him to stay. He was just getting ready to leave for "warrior week". He was nearly done with BMT and I wasn't letting him quit. So he stayed there and I recovered with the help of my mom. I was immediately taken off the chemo and my body responded well to the treatment.

I kept telling the doctors and nurses that I was going to Texas to see my husband on February 13th. The doctors said "we'll see." I was determined...I HAD to see my husband. At some point during my recovery and before I went to Texas, my son broke his foot and didn't know how. Fantastic! Then I thought my water heater went out, but imagine my surprise when I went to flip the circuit breaker to reset it and the circuit breaker box starts popping and shooting sparks out at me! My house almost caught on fire and I had to have the whole circuit breaker panel rewired. The time came for my doctor's visit prior to going to Texas and I was recovering better than he expected, so I was cleared to go!

I landed in San Antonio with no problems at this point, rented my car and set off for the hotel near the base. Of course I got lost. It took me twice as long as it should have but I found my way to the hotel. One more day and I'd be reunited with my hubby for a little while!

I still had the hole in my arm, but it was getting smaller. I unpacked my travelling medical supply store: betadine, gauze, telfa pads, medical tape, antibacterial soap, Lysol hand sanitizer and Lysol spray (I wasn't taking any chances on picking up something in that hotel room!) and I was trying to imagine my husband's face when he saw "the hole". We had a great visit and I came home feeling like the worst was behind me. My husband was starting Security Forces Tech School and we'd be able to talk every day now. Surely nothing else would go wrong...right?

This is when I realized God must have a strange sense of humor. I had to make it until the end of May and my husband would be home. No problem. And then we had a mysterious kitchen fire that to this day still can't be explained. We got it put out before any damage was done, but still...seriously?? My car was in and out of the shop, I don't even remember how many times, I just know it was pushing $1000.00 in repairs.

Somehow, with the help of many friends and my family, I had finally made it to May. My arm was healing nicely, better than the doctor had ever hoped. Things seemed to be calming down until my oldest son got jumped and beat up at school. Long story short I had a crazy lady to deal with in one of the boy's mothers and the police ended up getting involved. My son was ok, and the boys were dealt with, but that was just about more than I could take. No one messes with my kids, and if they do it hurts me as much as it does them. I was so hurt for my son!

Somehow we all pushed through it and the day came for me to fly back to Texas and bring my husband home! I almost missed my connecting flight in Dallas, but I made it by the skin of my teeth. I got to San Antonio and this time I didn't get lost trying to find the hotel. Things were looking up. My husband and I had a romantic night at the Riverwalk and we were going home...together!

I guess as I close this blog I want to say that I'm not writing this to scare anyone. I want you all to see that I made it through all of that and came out fine. Better than fine actually. I had a new found confidence in myself. I knew I could handle things on my own now. Even my dad, who isn't big on compliments or affection, said he was proud of me. He said "with all you had to deal with you did a really good job. You should be proud of yourself." And I was!

I don't think my experience could be described as "typical", but I did learn to expect the unexpected. It is funny now looking back, but at the time I thought I'd lose my mind. It was hard, but we did it. My kids and I survived some ridiculous situations together. That's how we did it...together. You can't do it alone. You need a support system, but you can do it.

My husband is now Active Duty and getting ready to deploy in 3 months. He'll be gone for a month of training and 6 months in country. 7 months this time, can you imagine what's in store for me this time? Neither can I, but I know I'll get through it. There is a reason military spouses are the strongest people you'll ever meet. It all goes back to the words of my very wise mother, "if it is going to happen it will happen while he's gone." And when it does, you'll handle it and come out a stronger person. I did.