Air Force Wife First, Everything Else Later

For nearly 17 years I've always put myself last and my husband first. That's just how it is sometimes as a military wife. Whatever he wanted to do I supported 100%, and I still do. All the plans I had for my life prior to getting married got put on the back burner. I knew someday I'd be able to get around to doing some of it. In 17 years a lot of "life" happens. Things change, and that's not always a bad thing.

I've always tried to make sure that my husband and my children had everything they needed and have been able to do whatever they wanted to do. I've quit jobs so that it would be easier for my husband to do what he needed to do for his career. As a matter of fact I quit a job with the DoD when my husband deployed last time. My job required quite a bit of travel and with him being gone I felt I needed to be home for the kids all the time. My dad was also very sick, so quitting that job seemed to benefit everyone. I was there for the kids, my mom, my dad, and my husband could reach me any time, day or night.

Now I've gone back to school to become an oncologist. My husband told me that he wanted to support me the way I've always supported him. He wanted me to come first for a change. He wanted me to finally do what I wanted to do. My husband talked to his unit about transferring to the base near the school I had chosen. Things seemed to be working out, but I still had that little voice in the back of my head saying "don't hold your breath!" Things are rarely that simple when the military is involved.

Last week my husband came home and told me that one of the senior NCO's had come up and said "You should really consider staying here a few more years. You're not a piece of s*$t and I really don't want to let you go." That is a compliment in the Air Force...lol. He said that his unit would understand if he left, and that if I still wanted to go we would move ahead with our plans. I asked him what he wanted me to do, and of course I got no input what so ever.

He will be up for promotion soon, and from what he was told by the senior NCO, it sounds like he will get it. I don't want to do anything that would impact his military career. I don't ever want him to have a moment where he thinks "why didn't I just stay at Scott??" With all of that in mind I started looking at schools near here. There are a few that would do, but they don't have everything I had found at the other school.

So, once again, I've decided to "settle". That's not a bad thing, and I don't resent my husband or the Air Force. When I married him, and in a sense married the Air Force, I knew this was part of the deal. The Air Force comes first the majority of the time. I suppose that is one of the many reasons they say that being a military spouse is one of the toughest jobs in the military. All I have to do is adjust my dream so that he can have his dream. I will still be an oncologist, I just may not get to go to the school I wanted. I support my husband and what he is doing, now and forever. I love the Air Force and everything that comes with it. If that means being an Air Force wife first and everything else later, then that is what I will do.